I have a confession to make

I have been a bully and a tyrant. A co-worker of mine recently retired. Last night I dreamed of him. This morning, overwhelmed by sadness, I had to admit something to myself and it isn't pretty. I was guilty of abusing this co-worker, because of his liberal ideology.

For 20 years this guy would come to visit me in my cubicle and take me to lunch, usually for Sushi, always paying, during which I would engage in insane rants. Blaming him personally, for every ill that had befallen me at the hands of liberals. He would pipe in once in a while in defense of his beliefs. He would always say there was nothing wrong in being devoted to social change. But it was a no win situation, as that would just start me off on another crazed tangent

During our lunches he gazed at me benevolently and probably fantasized about stopping my mouth in the time honored tradition. I would be conscious of my offensive behavior but couldn't seem to stop myself. It's one thing to rant to other conservatives on my blog, but totally unacceptable to abuse a faithful friend. He is a humanist in the truest sense of the word and not deserving of such abuse.

I think I would do this because I knew he would still love me. Now that he is gone, I realize how wrong it was.

Sometimes I feel myself unlikeable. Sometimes I am unlikeable. I know that I am an exciting and vital person and that is why many people forgive the major glaring flaws in my personality. Also, for many years I have gotten by on my looks.

My ex-boyfriends mom once said to me, "Stop being so miserable. You make everyone around you miserable!" Nuff said! I promise in the 45th year of my life, to try and be a better person.