Urban pacifist gunfighter

The other day I was sitting on the bus. There was a tall blond guy wearing a big black hat and suit standing over me. I have been seeing the lady who was seated next to me at the bus stop for about 7 years. I turned to her and said, "I can't believe how fast your hair grows." She told me that every one said so and that she grew it to donate it to a children's wig organization. The tall guy overheard us and said in a very effeminate voice," If you want your hair to grow you have to cut an inch off every month." As he spoke he flipped the ends of his long ponytail at me. I did not disabuse him of his misinformation. Hair grows from the root, not the ends. Cutting the ends has no effect on growth.

I looked up at the guy, smiled thinly as I do at most stupid people and said, "You have kind of an urban gunfighter look going."

"Oh, no, he said. Far from it, I find violence in all its forms abhorrent. I have personally marched and protested against this war and I am totally for gun control. I was actually going for a blues musician look, although I don't play."

As he got off the bus I turned to the lady next to me and said, "I think his handcuff key chain kind of contradicted his devotion to the ideology non-violence."