The Senators open up a can of auto da fe on Gonzales!

We got a Spanish style inquisition goin on, I am telling you. Shades of the crucible. Witch hunts. Stalinist purges. A regular parade of Puritan inquisitors grilling their victims. Next it will be the rack and drawing and quartering and the stocks and the Catherine wheel and the iron maiden and burning at the stake. Wait, I am getting too excited here. Deep breaths, in out, in out, slow down. (You know how much we right wingers love violence, almost as much as George Cloony does.) The Dems (and a few turncoat Republicans) are really getting into the torture of Bush administration officials in a red hot throbbing way. I could not stand to look at those hideous, grim old faces all day, barking insults and working their old Adams apples in their scrawny old necks, and I'm just talkin' bout the women. If ever I was subjected to such an unholy ordeal, I would faint or freak the hell out. I once belly danced at an old folks home and the residents were younger and a lot better looking than the members of Congress. Gonzales is amazingly patient and gentle with the elderly! Some members look like they could go any minute. Some of them I would just not respond to at all. Ted Kennedy just has no moral authority. I hate to sound like Ann Coulter but Ted Kennedy is a murderer. Chuck Schumer talks to an imaginary Irish alcoholic family "the Baileys" or some such nonsense, he is a sad old, mean old man with a puss like a ferret that just swallowed a lemon. Ditto for Harry Reid. He looks like a dog trying to pass a peach pit. Make those old fools shut up, someone, for Gawd's sake. Just play me some Eminem full blast or water board me. Those are preferable to the slow hellacious torture of testifying before the aged and befuddled members of Congress. I swear they need to take Pelosi and Feinstein and check their bodies for the extra nipples with which they suckle their familiars. There's your witches right there! On second thought just kill me, kill me now. Where is Amnesty International?