All of us agree that 300 is a very, very bad movie!

We are universally agreed for once in our lives. Right wing, left wing, liberatarians all. Now before you start in, let me tell you, my co-workers are comic collectors and dealers. 2 of them are artists. Well versed in Frank Miller, we loved and adored Sin City. His Dark Night Batman is the greatest. We love, love, love war movies. The more violent the better. We love weird stuff. Personally, as you know I am right wing. That is not to say I am an apple pie and mom type of patriot. I love my people but I am a realist. If you get stupid with your patriotism I will call you on it.

Yes 300 was a right wing movie that celebrated the fight of good over evil, if not the triumph. So what! It was still a silly, stupid and childish movie. It had a few good visuals, the rhino, the giant, the hunchback, handsome men. Much of the movie was eye catching. But most of it was eye rollingly dumb. The narrrator, who had a part in the Proposition, (which I loved) was horribly unsuited in his role as a Spartan and has a grating voice. Tragically, his goofy voice assaults us throughout 300. Gerard Butler as King Leonidas sounds like he has a mouthful of peanut butter. I wish they had just trotted out Sean Connery and had him play an older King Leonidas.

The right wing, pro war dialogue is laughable. "Freedom isn't free!" Arrggghhh!!! Right wing co-worker and I were sitting behind 2 gay guys during the film. Whenever the Spartans would spout some over the top pro war lines, the gays would look at each other and groan, it was small comfort because I was groaning too. The battle scenes are not original or even well choreographed. They are repetitive and dull. After the first freeze frame, blood spurting shot, it was like, alright already! They should have asked Mel to help out. Mel can stage battle scenes.

If you want to see an excellent film about a small band of warriors standing up to a huge army see Zulu. Of course, the British at Rorke's Drift in South Africa were not on the side of right, but showed great resourcefulness and bravery nonetheless. This makes a movie actually worth watching. If you want great ancient war action see Ben Hur, Spartacus, Gladiator, Kurosawa's Ran and Kagemusha or HBO's Rome. 300 does not work on any level, not as a war movie, not as a history movie, not as a fantasy and not as a comic book adaption.