Miss C reviews Happy Feet

I have seen a lot of animated movies lately. Over the Hedge, funny, and also with an environmentalist message. An animated Hell Boy movie, Ice Age 2. Cars, hated it, didn't get it, can't have feelings for cars, no sirree, Owen Wilson is irritating, Paul Newman sounds ancient, etc.

Flushed Away, loved it, who can't love Ian McClellan? My favorite Academy Awards show ever was the one where Ian showed up with his young Latin catamite, that was fabulous! Flushed Away made fun of the French, always a plus.

I wanted to see Happy Feet because it was written by George Miller, of Mad Max, Babe, Babe, Pig in the City, Pig in the City was dark, very dark and beautiful.

Now to Happy Feet. Awful, God awful. Penguins dancing, that gets old fast. Hugh Jackman,(love him as Wolverine, Hugh Jackman sans shirt, yum, just not on a city street) his crappy attempt at a southern accent, horrible, just horrible. Go back to Australia, Hugh, leave the southern accents to us. Nicole Kidman's accent, even worse, reedy, thin, breathy voice, irksome. Tom Cruise should send a Thetan to take her out!

Now we come to Robin Williams, racist, racist, racist. His imitations of an old Black preacher and a Latin lover, are embarrassing. I saw the movie in a small theater and there was a Black guy there with his daughter and I squirmed in mortification every time Robin started doing his Black shtick. Forget Kramer, lets talk Robin. Why they could not have just hired Jesse Jackson and John Leguizamo is a puzzlement.

Environmental message, we are over fishing. Yes, there is a message, but its hard to see how it will affect children, who will eat fish sticks, but are not big fish eaters for the most part. Unless they are Eskimos or Asians. I guess kids will have a good excuse not to eat fish, "Save the fish for the penguins, Daddy." Also, plastic soda rings are a bad thing, I cut mine up. Years ago my mom and I began cutting them up before discarding them, simultaneously, like twins raised apart. Not a bad message to impart to kids. Besides, kids are getting more virulent enronmentalist indoctrination at school and from PBS. They still love their Chicken Mcnuggets. Folks, it's just a cartoon.

Music, the worst soundtrack ever! Soft rock songs, elevatorized. I almost left the theater every time the penguins commenced to singing. I was glad that Mumbles could not sing, because that meant one less singing penguin.

Computer animation, probably the best I have ever seen. Gorgeous! I love arctic landscapes and I especially love animated ice.

Villains, super cool. Skuas, neat! Killer whale sequence, funny and marvelous. Leopard seal, awesome. I love the bad guys and these bad guys are baad! Not very environmentalistic, I would say! Not very leftist, taking sides in the animal kingdom.

Three moments moved me to tears. 2 were when the penguins made contact with humans. One was when I stayed to see if it was Steve Irwin's voice I heard in the role of an elephant seal. It was, and seeing his name in the credits made me tear up.

I was riding the bus with this crazy hippie woman and she was talking about how much she loved Happy Feet as it really hit people over the head with its environmental message. She said smugly, "Do you know Fox news is warning people about the movie." She then pointed out that the graffiti on the walls of the tunnel our bus drives through daily was actually achieved by making clean spots in the exhaust coating, not by spray paint. She said she'd rather breathe my air than the contaminated air in the tunnel. I held my tongue as I always do when talking to liberals who make stupid statements. I wanted to tell her that of course human diseases are more dangerous than car exhaust. They have adapted to spread from human to human and kill them. The next day I came down with a cold. I hope she caught it too.