If you come in my cage I'll eat you too!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Is it a conspiracy?

This weekend Abu R and I ate at a restaurant in Berkeley, owned by Iranians. The waiter came to the table and told us the specials. Then he looked convincingly apologetic as he explained that the "pork chops" were not available this evening.

The old bait and switch tactic. Uh hmmm. Bet they pull that one every night. Let's trick the infidels into coming to our restaurant by offering them their most beloved native food. We don't actually have to serve it to them.

Lord knows, we infidels are so easily seduced by the pigmeat! Abu R was blissfully unconcerned.


At 2:43 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blast their lying oily hides!

At 10:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own faeces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?


At 11:43 AM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Do not quote Samuel Jackson on my blog please. I can't stand him, unless he is getting devoured by a shark, then he's ok.

At 12:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was Jules, not SLJ!


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