Carnivorousness

If you come in my cage I'll eat you too!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Miss Carnivorous and her right wing habits.

Miss Carnivorous gets accused of engaging in many bad habits. This is stereotyping. Miss Carnivorous knows that there are no stereotypes that are not generally true, but since the left wing proclaims itself to be against stereotyping, they should be made aware that they are doing it. Miss Carnivorous will now bore many people, but she is going to paint a picture of her life and habits, to clear up any misconceptions that leftists might have about Conservatives and to avoid having to continually rebut statements made by silly people in her comment section.

Miss C lives in a 420sq ft cottage. She pays a mortgage on this cottage. It has 120 volts of electricity furnished by two, 60 volt fuse boxes. When Miss C has to turn on the microwave to cook her broccoli, she must first turn off all other appliances, especially the radio, before turning on the microwave. She often has to go outside to flip the circuit breaker the electrician installed next to the glass fuses, so Miss C no longer has to change fuses in the rain. Miss C recycles in everyway possible.

Miss C does not drive and has never driven. Miss C's mother could not afford a car and did not learn to drive intil she was 48. She did not drive well. Miss C is too old to learn to drive well, so she will never learn. She can not afford a car anyway. Miss C takes the bus. Miss C walks a lot and hiking is her favorite activity.

Miss C drinks coffee, a lot of coffee. Most days, Miss C drinks Yuban or Folger's coffee. Miss C went fishing with her dad a lot and drank a lot of truckstop coffee. Miss C is not a coffee snob. Once in a while some nice person will give Miss C a Starbuck's giftcard. Miss C has a few of them, barely used. When she does go to Starbuck's she orders a large house coffee, using just that terminology. Miss C drinks coffee strictly for the caffeine, it enables her to work very fast. Miss C is the fastest worker in her job class, hands down.

Miss C eats sandwiches for lunch most days. Miss C's co-workers are disappointed by Miss C's boring lunch choices, as there are many good restaurants around our place of work. Many of Miss C's co-workers are fat. Miss C does not want to be fat. Miss C thinks that sandwiches were good enough for her when she was a girl and they are good enough for her now. Miss C spends about $5.00 for lunch. Miss C does drink diet 7up with her lunch. She has peanuts or Sunchips as a side dish.

Miss C. does not snack much at all. Sometimes she chews sugarless gum. Wintergreen is her favorite, cinnamon her next. Miss C has had Ho ho's, Ding dong's, Twinkie's Hostess Pies and Cup Cake's but they are not regular faire. She has never had a Big Gulp. Miss C has had a Slurpee. After a 10 mile hike, a Slurpee tastes like ambrosia. Miss C fails to see the evil in partaking of these foodstuffs, but if someone can convince her that they are harmful to herself or others, she promises to give them up. Miss C works with many vegetarians and most of them are fat! Miss C prefers to eat tofu(Miss C calls it dofu, Miss C also says gung fu instead of kung fu) when it is fried in a meat dish. Miss C shops in Chinatown or at the Korean grocery for her dinner. Miss C can cook anything. Carnitas are her favorite food. Miss C received a lot of recipes from a Mexican co-worker when another co-worker's daughter got married. The Mexican co-worker wrote down her recipes for the new bride and she knew that Miss C loved to cook and that she loved Mexican food, so she gave Miss C copies of the recipes as well. Miss C loves pork and eats a lot of lemongrass porkchops from the Vietnamese restaurant around the corner from her house. Miss C cooks a lot of roast chicken and game hens. Miss C has a rice cooker and her Chinese-American punk rocker friend brings Miss C giant bags of Jasmine rice. Miss C cooks a lot of rice Miss C bakes cookies and cakes, but rarely, because her co-workers are, as mentioned before, fat and she does not want to add to their problems. They are all on blood pressure and anti cholesterol drugs. Miss C does not want to kill them.

When Miss C gets home she watches the CBS evening news, she can barely stand it due to it's liberal bias and Bob Shieffer's terrible performance as anchor, but she forces herself to watch.. She can barely see it as she has no reception from her roof antenna. At 6:00 she turns it to The News Hour. She can barely see that as well, but likes it very much. She then watches The Nightly Business report, although she has no money to invest, she finds it a little interesting. On Wednesday she watches an art show about local artists. She and her co-worker, a Black guy from Philly, who is into photography, are the only 2 people that watch this art show and she and he discuss it every week. She and he also watch, on Thursdays, a show about local restaurants which they also discuss. Miss C watches Frontline and Masterpiece Theatre. Miss C's co-worker, the blood thirsty Chinese-American punk rocker who loves Tom Waits, tapes boxing for Miss C. Miss C loves boxing. Same co-worker taped Rome for Miss C but she got bored with it. Miss C is easily disenchanted and bored by things and people, unfortunately. Miss C's other co-worker tapes Deadwood. Miss C. loves Deadwood. Miss C used to watch Cold Case for a while, because she likes the gimmick of bringing the dead back as young people and reuniting everyone. This works for her. Places in the Heart is one of her favorite movies of all time and when all the dead meet the living in the church in the end, Miss C gets very choked up. But Miss C got bored with Cold Case. She watches a lot of movies, mostly foreign and indie. She has seen a lot of Japanese movies. Some of them are very strange, like Visitor Q. Too much squirting breast milk and necrophilia for Miss C, but she found it interesting. She very much liked Audition. Miss C loves movies from Australia and New Zealand. Miss C loves Tsui Hark movies, The Blade is her favorite Tsui Hark movie. She also loves Dragon Inn.

Miss C listens to NPR. Miss C loves Cartalk, even though she doesn't have a car. She likes it so much, she will listen to the repeat show on Saturday. Miss C hates Prairie Home Companion, although they do have great guests some times, like Billy Joe Shaver. Miss C loves This American Life. She listens to the BBC World news. Miss C can not stand Rush Limbaugh or Michael Savage. She finds them offensive. Rush is, however, a million times more intelligant than Michael.

Miss C loves the Raiders. Miss C watches the Olympics religiously. Miss C hates the Olympic's opening and closing ceremonies, they embarrass her. Miss C also hates Cirque du Soleil.

Miss C was a skatepunk. Miss C listened to early classic punk. She used to dress New Wave. Miss C loves music and can enjoy most. She likes rap, she likes latin, she likes reggae. She likes heavy metal and punk. She likes classical. Miss C loves world music. She loves the blues. Miss C's blog address is pigmeat, this is the title of a Leadbelly song. Pigmeat is a euphemism. Miss C will not say what for, look it up. Miss C loves all the blind, blues singers that ever lived. Miss C does not think that white people should attempt to play blues. She loves Eric Clapton, but not when he is attempting to play the blues, then she is embarrassed for him. Miss C hates Bonnie Raitt and thinks she is boring.

Miss C reads everything she can get her hands on. Every type of book. Every type of magazine. Miss C can not get to bed at night because she would rather read all night. Miss C is addicted to blogs. She thinks that they are marvelous, splendiferous things. Real people writing about their feelings and lives. Her mind is boggled by the wonderfulness of them all and can't stop reading them. Her special favorite is Leilouta. Miss C does crossword puzzles every night as well. Miss C is slow at the New York times crossword puzzle. Crossword puzzles are meditation for Miss C.

Miss C used to scuba dive, but has not taken a vacation since she bought a house. Miss C loves Hawaii, very much.

Miss C has a dog, but is not a dog person. She had 2 cats that died at the ages of 17 and 18. She misses them but likes the clean house. She wishes sometimes that she did not have a dog.

Miss C was raised in the ghetto and lives around many people of many races and cultures. Miss C has friends from every race and culture. Miss C is very good at languages. She reads some Italian and French and speaks and reads Spanish and a little Arabic. Miss C makes $1,000 above the poverty level.

Miss C is not a member of the KKK or an admirer of David Duke. Miss C likes Jews. Miss C likes them despite the fact that they are very Liberal. They are liberal and intelligent, which Miss C can accept. Miss C finds the philosophy of the modern non Jewish left to be very anti-semitic. Miss C finds this attitude to be wholly unacceptable.

Miss C hopes that this prevents silly comments but knows that this is wishful thinking, so she will refer people to this column instead of addressing silly and untrue statements directly. Miss C is bored by silly statements.

3 Comments:

At 12:28 AM , Blogger Karl Bakla said...

I herd miss C listens to Skrewdriver

 
At 11:34 AM , Blogger Steven said...

I heard nothing of the sort!

 
At 10:50 PM , Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Steven,
did you just defend me? If so, Miss C thanks you from the bottom of her cold, wicked heart! No one has ever defended me before!

 

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