I order every last one of you to affix pins of Hopeful Leader Obama to your lapels

In celebration of his display of immense power at the conference of the United Nationalists.

My cheap ass neighbors chopped up some plywood and used it to, er, decorate their yard.

Or maybe they want to keep dogs from pooping in their yard. I dunno.

I am not sure how you tow a driveway

My Chinese co-worker claims that this sign is self explanitory when translated into Chinese and that the word "it," meaning your car, is quite clear.

No wonder kids can't spell

ACORN

Gee folks, this is what the underclass is like. ACORN housing projects are a cesspool of dog fighting thugs, prostitutes, paedophiles, feral teenagers, rapists and murderers. No surprise here.

Miss C helping stake the gay flag on twin peaks

My neighbor's grandson begged me to go with him and his grammies to put the triangle flag up on twin peaks to celebrate gay pride weekend. He asked and asked and he finally wore me down. So I went and had a great time. It was dangerous work ( the hill is steep and slippery, there is nothing to stop you from rolling down the hill to a certain death, and there was a lot of poison oak which I ended up getting on my ankles) but it was a lot of fun to work co-operatively to accomplish a goal. I felt like I was on an Israeli kibbutz. The flag was vandalized that night and everyone at work accused me of doing it.

The reason we don't see many "large" elderly people

My sister is six feet tall. One day she asked me why we don't see many large old people walking around.

"Well, I said, it's because large people put more stress on their bodies and die sooner, and also because people shrink with age."

"No, she replied. That is not the reason we don't see them. It's because they hide inside their houses so they don't scare children!"

Death Panels and fatty fatty 2x4's

Far left San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll went way out on Hitler's limb in his most recent column. In it he makes many controversial statements, but he indirectly defends a group of New Orleans medical staff who may have chosen to euthanize patients after hurricane Katrina.

"There was an additional problem - some of the remaining critically ill patients were obese, sometimes morbidly so. Evacuation involved maneuvering a patient down six flights of stairs, through a hole that had been hastily cut through a wall to the parking garage, then up two flights of very steep metal steps to the helipad. Some doctors were not even sure it could be done.

Here's another uncomfortable fact: Doctors often do not much care for people who do not take care of themselves. They understand, of course, but 30 years of unheeded advice takes its toll on the empathy impulses. How could it not? There was no suggestion in the article that this was a factor in any of the decisions; this is merely speculation on my part. Still.

The doctors were already administering morphine to manage pain and relieve the patients' anxiety. At a certain point, it seems pretty clear, a decision was made to give certain patients an increased dose of morphine plus a benzodiazepine sedative. Pou denies that euthanasia was her goal; she was just trying to get them through what was sure to be "another night of hell."

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/carroll/#ixzz0Q4aiqTU6

He makes a few projections, I think. Liberals often despise people who "don't take care of themselves." Well, they hate obese white people who reside in the midwest, or any trailer park in the US. They do, however, get mad when conservatives, "despise people who don't take care of themselves."

The decision to euthanize such patients, would not be defended by any serious right-wing columist.