If you come in my cage I'll eat you too!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Right-wing co-worker's racist easter eggs!

We always make fun of the yoga instructor who works with us, so he put this book up for us

"Hellified dick action"

This is a phrase stolen from one of the latest "Urban Novels." As in "Baby, didn't I give you enough hellified dick action last night?"

Devil Dog has a thing for Jamel's ears

He was visiting a few weeks ago. He came over to play. As he walked in the door he told me that his Grandma wanted to know if I wanted a "pomegranate martini." Are you kidding? I said, go tell her yes!" He came back with one. It was delicious.

No food shortages here! This is what we have for snacks at work, seaweed and prawns with the heads still on!

Kewl vehicles!

Which is worse for kids, polygamous religiosity or foster care?

I fail to see how it it is morally right to take away the children, of girls who have been forced into polygamous relationships, and put them into foster care. The young mothers are now being abused, all over again, by our government.

Some people just need killing!

A National Guardsman said, in an interview on NPR's Morning Edition,

"I can't say the war is right or wrong, but I can say I've never seen some people needed killing more than some of the people over here," he says. "And when I say that, I mean it in the most sincere way I can. ... I've seen true evil over here. And, yeah, maybe we made a mistake coming over here, but we're here and we need to finish."

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Obama has charisma, Hillary does not

We work with a woman who has charisma. Every person who comes here to work is drawn towards her. She makes lasting friends out of even the most temporary workers, who will go out of their way to visit her, even after they have moved on to other jobs.

On the street, when she takes her cigarette breaks, people who work for the State and the County will desperately seek her company. If she's late for her break, they will call and ask forlornly, why she is late.

All day, custodians and security guards will file in to her cubicle to chat with her. When a new employee is hired, it does not take them long to gravitate to her.

She draws both men and women. If I had a business she is the first person I would hire and I would pay her very well because she would bring in customers.

Men fall in love with her on a regular basis. She is in her late 50's and plump, but she still has stalkers. One guy comes to see her every payday and stares at her lovingly while muttering, "You put a spell on me." Other men have been fired because they were in love with her and made trouble for her. They just could not help themselves.

You can't bottle this stuff. You have to be born with it. I did not like Will Smith's portrayal of Muhammed Ali, because Will does not have much charisma. Someone with a little charisma can't play someone with intense charisma.

Bill Clinton has it. Hillary doesn't. Obama's fans love him in a way that is totally out of proportion to his real value as a human being. There is nothing anyone can do about it, it's just the way it is.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Panty thief strikes open houses

My neighbor is selling her cottage. I have to warn her about this guy.

My bus is crowded!

Liberals cannot make up their minds. Contrary to what they would have you believe, high gas prices are good. Since gas prices have gone up the bus I ride has been packed so tight with riders that we will soon need to hire those Japanese people, who push people into Tokyo subway trains so that the doors can be closed, to push us onto our buses.

The only reason all these people are finally riding public transit is that the gas prices are so high. Environmentalists have been begging people to stop driving so much, and they have. I don't understand why liberals are getting their girly panties in a knot over high oil prices. Liberals favorite people, the French, pay huge prices for fuel.

I also don't understand why are they bitching about low housing prices. Low housing prices are good. High gas prices are good. It's all good.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

This is what they learn you at school around here!

In kindergarten, your kid gets his teeth knocked out. In first grade he gets kicked in the stomach and swung into a tree to learn what a skull fracture feels like. I can't wait to see what happens in second grade.

"It's a major concern," said Denise Saddler, an Oakland Unified School District administrator in charge of elementary schools in North and West Oakland.

Saddler said she will address Monday's violence at Piedmont Avenue, but she called it a personnel matter and declined to discuss details.

She said that an investigation of the incident that sent Zachary to Children's Hospital is under way and that no student will be punished until the facts have been gathered."

Of course, the bitch is already more worried about the perps. "No student will be punished, until the facts have been gathered."

To these types the real crime is always the rush to judgement, not the brutal assault of an innocent child.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Hope springs eternal in the liberal heart

This morning a co-worker was gloating about the "downfall of America." "If I was younger, I would move to Europe," he said, trying hard not to smile in glee.

"God, I said, I wish all you liberals would move to Europe". Having to take in all you losers would sink Europe faster than an iceberg did the Titanic.

Imagine all the whining complainers ammassed in one place, kind of like they are in the San Francisco Bay Area.

They really hate their own countrymen and have been hoping for our downfall and indeed doing everything they can to destroy us. Destroying our educational system was probably a planned conspiracy, thought up by insane liberal minds.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Supersize me!

The perfect Democratic ticket is, Al Gorge Himself, for Prez, and Michael Moore, More, More, as Vice Prez. It would be like Roman times. They would eat and regurgitate and eat some more. Think of the many White House dinners they would host.

All our energy problems would be solved. We could just hook up Al and Mike to methane collecting butt tubes and we'd have all the gas we need to power the world.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Tiger stripes for Tigeroo

My hairdresser put blonde streaks in my hair. She told me they make me look softer. Softer is not how I wish to look in my jaunts around the inner city. I wish to look more fierce. I complained of this to my co-workers.

Right-wing co-worker said, "They're mean streaks!"


Don't the Obama fans get it? Obamanation. Abomination. I can't read one without thinking of the other. They need to separate Obama and nation. Obama Nation. Like the Raider Nation. It's hard to believe that Raider fans are smarter than Obama fans, but they are.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Skaters Against Violence

They had an article in the paper about a group of inline skaters who do skate marathons against street violence and to call attention to victim's rights.

At first, I assumed that the skaters were skating against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I knew these skaters were liberals and most liberals just can't care about the victims of crime like they do about the perpetrators of crime. They just don't have it in them. The vast majority of them would put on the old roller skates for Tookie, but not for Tookie's victims.

So I was happily surprised to hear about this group of concerned citizens who realize that more people are dying here on the streets of America than are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan combined.

Then again, there are only 12 of these enlightened people.

Friday, April 11, 2008

The current rash of freeway shootings are not road rage incidents

These shooters are having fun. When you shoot at a man who is driving with his young sons, you must know that if you shoot him in the head he will crash his car and possibly his kids will die too. Hardly a fitting punishment for someone who cut you off in traffic.

There is a lot of road rage, but these incidents are not happening because of so called road rage, they are happening because some men very much enjoy murdering others.

It is just too difficult for the liberal media to accept the truth about human nature, despite thousands of years of recorded history that proves that some humans will always love killing other humans.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Max Mosely, Formula One racing and the Nazi prison chick orgy

Considering Max had the misfortune of being the son of 2 of the stupidest people in Britain, this scandal is not surprising.

His dad being a Nazi sympathizer and his mom being a rank sycophant of Nazi sympathizers and most devotions to ideologies being psycho-sexual in nature, I'm sure that little Max saw a lot of weird sexual stuff going on in the Mitford/Mosely household. No doubt sexual high jinks involving his dad and Nazi uniforms and the servants, and silly socialites dumb enough to party with Max's parents.

He probably was introduced to the kind of stuff that turns him on by the behavior of his own parents.

Funny video

Chinese Christian co-worker is a victim of identity theft

She needed to get a background check in order to work as a sunday school assistant. During the background check it was discovered that 3 other people were using her social security number. One of the culprits is in Florida.

So you see the use of one's private information by illegals may have very serious repercussions for American citizens. Not only that, but someone must have sold her social security number to these people. Someone who works for the Social Security administration or a bank or a library. Who knows?

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Hee hee, that's a good one

"Hai Ming, 37, a Chinese student of civil engineering at University of California at Davis, about 35 miles east, traveled to the torch ceremony on a bus chartered by consulate officials. He said the officials told those on the bush that they should be peaceful and think about their safety.
Mr. Hai said he disagreed with Tibetan protesters who have flooded San Francisco this week. “I think they are crazy,” he said. “The Chinese people are very peaceful. They wouldn’t do what they are accused of.”

If you don't like the oil companies, don't drive

If you hate big Pharma, don't take prescription drugs. Even if you are diabetic or have heart disease, don't take them. Just fucking get your toes and feet chopped off. Otherwise, shut up and drive and eat as much sugar as often as you like.

This kid's a conservative, a liberal kid would want to reason with the monster

Protests are useless

There are too many protests these days. So many that nobody pays attention to them any more. The anti-war protests in the US achieve the opposite effect from what the participants intend.

George Bush uses the anti-war protests as a reason for war. He constantly defends the protesters' right to protest by saying that it is what makes us different than our enemies and that public demonstration against government policy is one of the benefits of democracy.

I hear soldiers in Iraq say the very same thing. They really do think they are defending the anti-war crowd's right to engage in civil disobedience.

The people who are attacking Olympic torch carriers are not interested in democracy

The people purporting to protest China's human rights abuses are abusing the human rights of others by physically attacking them. The people carrying the Olympic torches are not responsible for the crackdown on Tibetan and Burmese protesters.

The pro-Tibetan protesters are decrying the brutal attacks against Tibetan citizens. How can they physically attack other people and think it is OK?

I am totally against having the Olympics in China. The committee never should have allowed it. China is a filthy, disgusting country and it is unhealthy for our athletes to compete there. Also the Chinese will cheat like hell. I am not going to watch the Olympics, for the very first time in my life.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Check out the 2007-2008 map of murders in Oakland, scary!

If you go to Kung Fu Summer School this is what you can do!

Monday, April 07, 2008


Once Abu R and I went to a Sushi restaurant. Abu R is an Arab and they are picky about food. He asked the waitress what she recommended.

In her Japanese accented English she replied. "Oh, I do not eat raw fish."

"You don't?" Abu R said. He gestured to the sushi chef behind the counter. "What does he eat?"

"That is my father, the waitress replied. He also does not eat raw fish."

"What do you have that's cooked? asked Abu R.

2 serious incidents of racism perpetrated by Blacks

A few weeks ago I was riding the bus. At one bus stop 3 very good looking Black girls boarded the bus.

As they walked down the aisle, one of them said loudly, "Ugh, it stank on here. Smells like ching chong Chinamen."

Last Friday, the bus was so packed the driver was letting people get on through the back and middle doors. I was squished in by the middle door. Seated in the seats reserved for the elderly and handicapped were 3 not so good looking Black girls. One had a baseball bat.

A Chinese girl was standing near them. One of the Black girls began to accuse the Chinese girl of staring at them. The Chinese girl had headphones on and was oblivious at first. The black girls got more nasty and racist, one of them accused the poor Chinese girl of pretending not to look at them through her " itty bitty eyes" pulling on her eyes own for emphasis.

Then, the girl with the bat began to threaten the Chinese girl and told her "If you look at me again, I'll beat your ass with this bat. Look over there."

By this time a White guy, who I see on the bus from time to time, started shaking his head.

He said to me, "I am sick of this shit. This bus is fucking crowded. How are we supposed to avoid looking at each other. Look at that girl with the bat, she's fucking asking for trouble. I almost wish she'd do it, cuz I'd love to take that bat away from her and beat her ass with it."

Of course, he left race out of the conversation.

The Chinese girl got off at the next stop. What else could she do.

It's clear, the Iraqi "insurgents" don't want the US to leave Iraq

They are not trying to drive us out. On the contrary, if the violence were to end, we would be out in a jiffy. They know this,but are not interested in having us leave. Just as some Palestinian factions do not want a free Palestine and at any sign of success at achieving a peace agreement will do anything they can to fuck up the process.

Clean your own house first

It cracks me up whenever Joe Biden and the other Democrats yelp about the Iraqi government not being able to get it together. The Dems are engaged in their own domestic war and can't get along with the opposition in their own country.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Pet rat

My sister Alexis's first apartment was in a really bad neighborhood. She lived a few yards away from some projects.

She had a pet rat. The kids from the projects would come and knock on her door every day.

" 'Lexis, 'lexis, they would say excitedly, when she answered the door. Can we see yo' pet rat??"

My sister would let them in and they would stare at Nedra the rat as she climbed around in her habitrail.

"Aghhh.... EEE-UUUUW.... they would all scream and giggle. EEEEKKK..... Aghhhhh....... Then they'd run away, but they would come right back the very next day.

Nedra the rat died. My sister got another rat, but it was not the same as Nedra. One day she showed up at my job with the rat in a box.

"What is that?" I asked. She told me to give it to my ex to feed to his snake.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Signs we saw on the way to see "The Bank Job"