If you come in my cage I'll eat you too!

Friday, June 30, 2006

And Devil babies!

Miss C likes to ad horns and tails to pics of cute babies. This is what babies look like on the inside!

Miss C's cubicle has Japanese Zero's


One liberal's reaction to the NYT's article about money transfers.

My liberal, Jewish co-worker came to my cubicle and asked why people were making a big deal about the Times article. He said that the government's program was a good thing, follow the money trail. He was in disbelief that the right was mad about the left printing the story, because he felt that the story showed the Bush Adminstration in a good light. You can't tell with liberals. I am starting to detect slight differences in their thought patterns. Soon, I might be able to tell them apart.

Peace enforcement mission.

Adam, a West Point cadet and blogger, who happens to be rather liberal, made a very good point in a comment he made on Wannabeleader's blog. Adam said that our mission in Iraq, rather than being a "peacekeeping mission," is actually a "peace enforcement mission." He says that the insurgents are trying to kill the people that are trying to keep the peace.

Let people burn the American flag if they want to!

They always look really stupid and crazy while they are burning it. Give em enough rope, I say.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Judge on trial for using penis pump in the courtroom during trials!

Well, I never. This guy is low. He should have just ordered him some good ol' Spermamax. Because when you come with Spermamax, your girlfriend will be looking for her underwear for an hour!

Its clear that the Palestinians do not want peace

The Palestinians have nothing but their victimhood. Continual victimhood. That is their only industry, their only export. They have no concrete plan to help their own people and so they need world support, just to exist. How do they get support? They force Israel to attack them and run around crying victim. I say let's call their bluff this time. Ignore what is happening in Gaza. If the Palestinians are content to arouse the wrath of Israel, let them live, or die, with the consequences of their actions.

Monday, June 26, 2006

The beheading of diplomats by vicious animals.

The beheading of the Russian diplomats, by terrorists in Iraq, is being completely ignored by the left for the very reason that it exposes the ideology of peace, love and understanding as the garbage that it is. The innocent Russians were engaged in the act of peaceful negotiations with a foreign government that was chosen by its own people, in a fair and democratic election. The fact that these Russian diplomats were viciously slaughtered by adherants to the "religion of peace" proves that the whole leftist idea of reasoning with violent Islamofascists is not viable as a policy. No one will be allowed to peacefully engage with anyone as long as the Jihadists have their way.

Islamic center just de-Christianized their windows.

I work near an Islamic center. It has been located in an old, Byzantine style, Christian church. The church had the usual stained glass windows with angels and such. The Muslims have been living in peace with the windows many years now. Just last month, the powers that be had the depictions of Christianity removed from the window frames and had very plain windows inserted.

Eric Lickbutt and the New Jihadi Times.

Mr Lickbutt was just on the News Hour spouting the usual, "public's right to know," garbage and gobbledy gook. Although quite open with the details of the Bush adminstration's efforts to prevent the needless death and dismemberment of thousands of Americans, Mr Lickbutt was very coy when it came to the details of how the New Jihadi Times got the information about the monitoring of international bank transfers by terror suspects. "I'm not going to get into details," Mr Lickbutt said. What about the public's right to know, there, Mr Lickbutt, hmmm. You can tell how far the left is from understanding the nature of the average American citizen. Again, the leftist journalists are patting themselves on the back, and congratulatng themselves on giving the Americans, what they assume, the Americans want to know. The only problem being that the American citizens didn't want to know this. They were happy to let the government take care of the terrorist watching business. Of course since the government was actually doing something good, the left couldn't stand it and had to put an end to the program. Mr Lickbutt claimed that it was really just common knowlege that the US was monitoring bank transfers anyway, so they were just printing something everyone knew already! Then why print it at all, we might ask. The Jewish editors of the New York Times are the biggest Uncle Toms on the face of this planet. Somehow they have got it into their skullcaps that Bush is the enemy and not the Jihadi fucks that want to skin Jews, behead Jews and drop nukes on Jews, not necessarily in that order. Treason, treason, treason! I am linking the Anti-idiotarian rottweiler t-shirt, which I formerly disapproved of, on account of I don't usually find lynching funny. However, since the media continues to engage in endangering the lives of innocents, both in the US and in Iraq, I am going to overcome my revulsion and say that lynching is too good for the traitorous bastards!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Iranian gunman's takeover of Henry's Publick House and Grille, Berkeley,1990

A memory came to me today and I did some internet research on a tragic hostage takeover of a pub in Berkeley popular with UC students. My Iranian boyfriend who was a nuclear engineering student at UC Berkeley and I used to go to the pub all the time in the late 1980's. In 1990 an Iranian gunman took 33 hostages at gunpoint and killed one man and sexually abused female customers for 7 hours. He avowed hatred for Americans, blondes in particular. The media exacerbated the situation by reporting live from the scene and broadcasting all manner of untruths. The gunman was watching the media coverage on the bar television and some of the things the reporters were saying enraged him. He was resentful of the fact that American women showed their legs and felt that they were responsible for arousing his lust. Go and read the article. What was most interesting to me about the situation was that after the gunman was shot by a SWAT sniper he was taken to Oakland's Highland Hospital, which is the premier trauma center in Northern California and if you are a victim of head trauma, you do want to go there. The liberals here in the Bay Area were very upset that the Iranian killer had been sent to a hospital in Oakland instead of a hospital in Berkeley. They felt that the police did not want to "save" the gunman and that they wanted him to have a longer trip, thus being more likely to die. The leftists were, of course, wrong about the facts and indignant on account of their extreme ignorance. The letters to the Bay Guardian and the East bay Express, after the incident were full of outrage on behalf of the gunman and none for the victims. The sentiments were an amazing example of the lunatic leftist view of the perpetrators of evil as victims. It also shows the resentment that the left has for pretty and popular young college students, and the worshipful feelings they have for anyone from the third world. One letter writer even went so far as to claim that it was the American sexist culture which caused this Muslim fanatic to attack women. I composed quite a few letters to the editors of these papers, but was so enraged by the sentiments expressed by the leftist letter writers, that I could never get them to coalesce into a properly worded, printable form.

Bill Whittle of "Tribes" fame has a new posting, go and read it this instant

It is an introduction to his new book entitled An American Civilization and it is as brilliant an expose of the incorrect belief system of leftists as anything ever written. God, I wish he'd run for President.

Devil Dawg comes, bearing gifts!

Devil Dawg does not like very many people. He likes my friend Jamel, Mimi, an ex neighbor that used to bring him string cheese and he loves the neighbor girl who lives across from me. Lately he seems to have developed a crush on her. If he hears her outside he starts to cry and ask to go out. He knows her by name. The other day she went out to water her yard and Devil Dawg started in with the whining. I asked him if he wanted to go outside and see her. He spun around, which is his way of saying yes. I get him on his leash and open the door, but he gets an idea in his head and starts to run around the house looking for something. He finds what he wants, which is an eviscerated hedgehog toy, just the skin now, all torn up and holey. He comes over, with this thing dangling from his mouth and looks at me as if to say, "I'm ready!" I open the door and he drags me across the walkway, all puffed up and proud. My neighbor starts gushing, "He is so cute!" Of course, my dog is totally aware that when he carries his toys around in his mouth, everyone oohs and ahs over him. This was his intention all along.

My 6 year old boyfriend.

There are 2 women living in one of the cottages in my cottage court. They are around my age and they are New Age lesbians. They grow herbs and do stuff with crystals and engage in tarot readings when they need to make important decisions, etc. Although, I do not believe in any of the things that they are doing I like them very much. They have an adopted grandson, Jamel, who comes to visit from his home in Seattle. He comes for sping break and stays the whole summer..

The cottage court that we live in is tiny, and Jamel is full of energy and not in the least shy. He has been in love with me, since he was 3. He and I play with trucks and cars. I collect toy tow trucks, which are his very favorite things. He had a very rough childhood. One of the lesbians has a beautiful daughter. She is tall and blond and looks like a supermodel. She is, sadly, attracted to the worst Black men she can find. 6 years ago she was in a relationship with one of them. The guy had another woman who was pregnant by him. The woman gave birth and came home from the hospital the next day. She left Jamel, a 1 day old baby, alone, while she went out to do drugs. Someone who was stayng at the apartment she lived in, found the baby and began to try and locate the father to tell him the baby had been left alone. My neighbor's daughter, who was living with the father answered the call. She went to pick up her boyfriend's son and she has cared for him ever since. The father was abusive toward him and so was a subsequent boyfriend that she had. Jamel has a lot of fears around going to bed at night, because the ex boyfriend would make him stay in his room while he was visiting. Once Jamel came out of his room and the guy twisted his arm really badly. When he is staying here with his grandmother, he often throws all night fits. It is hard on us here to listen to him and often his grandmothers will put him in the car and drive him around til he falls asleep.

The grandmothers also use me as incentive and punishment. If he does something wrong, they don't let him see me. They say that this is their most powerful tool. This morning he knocked on my door. He told me that there was something in my mailbox for me. "It's a poster!" he said. "I'm going to Gay Pride." and off he ran down the walkway, carrying his portable chair. There was a sheet of white paper in my mailbox, folded up and taped excessively. I opened it and it was picture of me and a pirate, because he knows I love pirates.

Democrats are getting ready to vociferously defend rich people!

The Democrats weren't content with pretending to be horrified at the "outing" of a CIA agent, the Democrats' natural enemy, they are now going to shake their fists in false indignation and stomp their big Birkenstocks at the idea that the US government is monitoring international bank transfers. The Democrats are like soccer players trying to get the officials to call a foul. The Democrats fall to the ground and moan in pain and grab their shins. Then when the refs decline to call a foul, the Dems hop up and run to the other end of the field. It is an act. The Democrats would love to be the ones monitoring the banking records of the rich.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

If we leave Iraq now, it will become a new Killing Fields.

Americans can not leave the Iraqi people to the mercy of the insurgents. The Democrats that keep calling for a pull out of US and coalition troops are advocating the genocide of the Iraqi people. The Iraqi's are terrified that the US will leave and let the radicals have their way. If it looks as if the US will leave Iraq before the Iraqi government can handle security on its own, the moderate Iraqis will not support the democratically elected government. They have to think about their families and their fear of reprisals is understandable. Saddam Hussein punished the Kurds for their uprising after the US encouraged them to rebel. The US left the Kurds to be slaughtered by the thousands after the first gulf war. Iraqi insurgents have proven themselves merciless and are extremely well armed. They will slaughter every Iraqi that has cooperated with the current government. The fundamentalists will kill the educated classes, like they are already doing. They have been killing doctors and students. It will be like the killing fields of Cambodia, all over again.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Prince of Martyrs is flowery Arabic for dead loser!

If All Zarqawi is a martyr, why does Al Zawahri want to seek revenge for his killing. Isn't Zarqawi up in heaven enjoying the increasingly scarce virgins? Obviously Allah meant for Al Zarqawi to die. If you believe that Allah wills everything, you gotta take the bad with the good. Allah made the 9/11 hijackers attack the US, just so that the US would go to Afghanistan and Iraq. Even the occupation of Palestine by the Jews, must be according to Allah's will. Didn't Allah make the Arabs lose the 6 day war? Allah predetermines everything, so, sit back, relax and stop blowing up your country men and women. What will be, will be.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Minimum wage increase "blocked" by Republicans

Honestly, the Democrats have a lot of nerve being upset over the Republicans "blocking" any of the Democrats' proposals. They have hardly been models of cooperation. They seem to spend all their time thinking of ways to block Bush's proposals. They can't concentrate on their actual jobs, they are trying so hard to block Bush. Give me a break!

Human litters

Studies have shown that in times of nutritional abundance the incidences of women giving birth to twins rises. I guess that means that humans actually have litters too.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Kill Whites!!!

I see from my site meter that someone from South Africa Googled the words, "Kill Whites" and got a hit on my blog.

The movie, Brick.

Miss C loved the movie Brick. It's a Maltese Falcon style, film noir, done in a southern California high school setting. It is cool, cool, cool. Every character in a detective film is covered by teens, the gumshoe, the femme fatale, the muscle, the kingpin, the rats and druggies. Great dialogue and repartee abound. Miss C highly recommends this film.

Miss C and the ever so charming cashier.

Miss C had to stop at the drugstore this evening. As Miss C got up to the cash register she was treated to the delightful sight of the fat cashier, shoving her arm up under her shirt, and scratching around under the front of her bra. As the woman dug around her sagging flesh, she ignored Miss C in order to continue a conversation with a woman standing nearby. They spoke of drunkeness and the type of liquor used to get that way. Miss C was adressed once and asked if her card was ATM or credit? The cashier rang up the items with one hand as she continued to hunt for the vermin living underneath her breast flaps. Then the cashier halfway pushed Miss C's items in a plastic bag and left them where they lay, so that Miss C had to finish putting the items into the bag herself. This is pretty typical service for the bay area, but not often does the cashier emulate a monkey in public, thank the Lord!

The media needs to quit talking about the ambush of the 2 American soldiers.

The media is making a huge deal out of these particular deaths. It adds fuel to our enemies' fire to talk about these deaths incessantly. It makes us look weak. We need to shake this off and go out and get some revenge. Quietly and calmly.

Monday, June 19, 2006

If Ann Coulter wants Murtha fragged, she should do it herself!

If Ann wants the Yale taliban professor stomped to death, she should go ahead on. Nobody's stopping her. She's the female equivalent of an Islamic cleric who tells Muslims that they should engage in suicide attacks. If she really believes in what she is saying she should put her money where her mouth is. Miss C does not approve of our citizens calling for the deaths of other citizens, unless those citizens have been convicted of serious crimes. Miss C wants to live in a civilized country. That is why she is right wing.

Liberal = uber puritan

The puritan and new age missionary, Wonkette, has posted My Space pics of California politician, Brian Bilbray's kids. Wonkette has nothing better to do than insult the children of Republicans. More brilliant political strategy from the Dems. Strike at the root of Republican domination by, pointing out that teen agers like to drink beer and party! Karl Rove has nothing on these Dems, by God. Bilbray won his seat after the Duke Cunningham fiasco and the Dems can't stand it that a Republican was elected in a Republican district. They expected Republicans to turn on themselves like the Democrats do. One commenter on Wonkette's column, pokes fun at Bilbray's daughter's name. I'll tell you this, in the name department, Repubs got you Dems beat. Brianna is a lot cooler name than Apple.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Favorite spam of the week.

"Young 18's, so appealing and jolly! "

Miss C is over twice 18 and she is almost never jolly.

Magical thinking!

The LA Times, says that we should not blame the criminals from the gulf, for stealing money from the US taxpayers to use for strippers and sex change operations. In fact, the LA Times, thinks that we should blame, FEMA! Of course, we should, because FEMA is part of the current administration and the current administration is headed by George W. Bush and of course everything is Bush's fault and when bad people behave in vile ways through their own free will, it's actually President Bush who's responsible. These Liberals need to get off their asses and act like grown ups and stop expecting President Bush to be their Daddy. Most of those so-called victims of Katrina, who so gleefully misspent our tax dollars on strippers and other vices were not victims of anything. We, and those unlucky enough to come in contact with these low down, dirty pigs, are the victims. It's amazing that Liberals are so quick to run around saying that white midwesterners who live in trailer parks, deserve to get killed by tornados, but Black people that live in a flood zone are somehow exempt from responsibility. I, for one, can't wait for a big fat earthquake here in the Bay Area, so that the Liberal bleeding hearts can see what it's like to get pulled out of their cars as they sit in gridlock on the freeways, and be raped and beaten senseless by the criminals they so adore. Many Black people live check to check here and will not have any emergency supplies and will have to take some from the white people who do. The other states will not be at all sympathetic, they will say that we deserve it for living in an earthquake prone area and not fixing our social problems. Of course, the Liberals here will just blame Bush.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

The coming racial apocolypse/ Fred on Everything and multiculturalism

Fred on Everything has an interesting column on the coming war between the races in the US. I almost think that he's right. The quote by a black gangster who says Blacks are killing Blacks, because they'd rather kill whites, but they know they'd lose that war, is very interesting. God forbid, for whites and other law abiding minorities, if the Blacks and Latino gangs ever decide to unite. I also like it when he says that a racist is someone who says aloud what everybody knows to be true. He says being called a racist is a badge of intellectual honor. Living in the inner-city, I know that what Fred is saying is generally true. On the other hand, there is a huge amount of co-operation between the races going on where I live. Considering the ethnic and racial mix here, we should be considered role models for racial co-operation. We do have cultural differences that get on each others' nerves, plain and simple, but it's rarely life or death. What people say in their own homes is something altogether different. I know that many of my Black friends dustrust and hate whites, but they trudge on and manage to have a pretty good lives. Sometimes, I have had about as much of inner-city Black youths as I can take and then one of the youths will surprise me by giving an old woman his seat on the bus. It ain't all bad. I once saw an old white lady fall really badly and hit her head and her elderly friend screamed and two little Black kids riding by on their bikes, went over and started helping the friend to help the woman up, before my boyfriend and I could get out of our car. They didn't even hesitate for a minute. Those kids were raised right, I am telling you! Another time, an old white lady fell while crossing at a crosswalk in front of a Black lady's car. The Black lady stopped traffic and jumped out of her car to help the woman and when everybody honked and yelled for her to move her car she just yelled "Shut the fuck up, a lady is hurt here!" which really, only a Black woman would be brave enough to do. Steel fist in a velvet glove..

Saving farms in South Central California?

No one should be farming in Southern California, there's no fucking water! It's not a good place for crops unless you massively irrigate it. It's bad for the environment to farm areas that do not get much rainfall. Farms are not natural to the environment. Hunting and gathering is good for the environment. Farming, organic or otherwise, destroys animal habitats and sucks nutrients from the soil. After being harvested, produce is driven to cities in trucks burning fossil fuels. Farming is anti-environment, period, end of discussion.

Brilliant minds think alike!

Our San Francisco cartoonist Dan Asmussen of Bad Reporter, did a great cartoon about Darryl Hannah in the nut tree! I earned a lot of kudos from my co-workers for having scooped him in getting my column on Darryl out before he did his cartoon. I must bow to his vastly superior intellect, however. He is pure genius. He does a lot of local stuff, but his national and international cartoons can't be beat. My favorite Bad Reporter cartoon is about the death of Yasser Arafat. Hilariously good!

Friday, June 16, 2006

I do not stank!

Captain Jack made me think of more bus incidents. I get on a very crowded bus. As people get on the front they notice a bad smell and try to push through to the back although there is no room. A very outspoken woman gets on. She sniffs the air and says, "Ooh it stank in here!" A drunken, probably homeless guy on the front of the bus says, with dignity, "I do not stank, woman, I keeps my hygiene!"

Another time I get on and there is a regular passenger, a very crazy, very dangerous woman, from a halfway house. She threatens everybody and sometimes attacks people and no one will sit near her because she is rank and scary. She threatened me once when this nice young Chinese kid decided to talk to me while we sat behind her. She kept telling the kid to "Be silent," but he didn't notice, so she got up and stood over us and acted like she was going to hit us. The bus driver told her to sit down and leave us alone or get off the bus, and she did leave us alone. My brother saw her slam a guy's head into the window of the bus for no reason, she was just sitting next to him and felt like it, so she did it. I saw her sit on a kid's basketball that he had on the seat next to him. She sat right on it, like she was trying to hatch it. He was practically crying. She just kept sitting on it saying, "Take the ball!" Another lady from the half way house says that the staff will sometimes drug the smelly woman and bathe her when they can't take the stench any more. But today she is powerful stanky. So a lot of people start opening the windows and moving around the bus to get away from her. She starts yelling, "Remain seated!" "Sit down." Then she rings the bell for a stop and gets up, as she gets to the front of the bus she sweeps her finger at all of us and screams, "Y'all stank, y'all smell bad!!!" Then she huffs off the bus.

Ann Coulter's book is pornography for Conservatives.

I read Ann's book and my opinion is that it it could have made a few good columns, but it's a bad book. I like the points she makes, but, we Conservatives know them, already. We talk about them all the time. Ann acts like she's telling us something we don't know and we are slow to get it, so she has to repeat it over and over. She drags out the material like a dime store romance novelist does sex scenes. The Conservative sex scenes go on for, oh, about a 100 pages. Ted Kennedy is baaadd, oooh he's sooo baaaaddd, ooohhh he drowned his girlfriend, did you know that?, hmmm, he did, he did drown his girlfriend, bet you didn't know that! Ted Kennedy drinks, did you know that, he's a drunk, he drinks, he drinks so muchhhhh.... ooohhh, yesss, Ted Kennedy is fat... did you know that? he's sooo fat, Ted Kennedy is faaaaat, he's faaatttt, He's a fat fuck, he's so fat, he's so fat, he's so fat, ahhhhhh....ooooohhhh... yeeesssss!!! A faaaat Jewish girl let Clinton cum on her face, she did, she's soooo faaat, Clinton was faaattt, he had a heart attack, he was sooo fattt. Hillary hasss a bigg faat asss, Biiig faat piano leggs, Molly Ivans isss fattt, she never went to her prommmmmm...everybody's faaaaattt Liberals are faaattt, ooohhh stomp the Yale Taliban with your bigg Jack booootttss, you bigg skinheads, with your biiiiggg faatttt ooooohhhhhss John Murtha iss sooo huuuuge, oooppps I mean faaattt, he's biiiig, he's so faaattt, fraggg him oh frag me John Murtha, fraaaagggg me, I mean himmmm I haaate fattt people I hate themmmm soooo much, I haaate Liberaaalls sooo much, I haate themm I haaate them... it's sooo gooood arrgghhh oooohhh my Gawwwddd it' so goood, ahhhh I'm cummmming...It's like, jeeze Ann, I came 4 pages back but you keep on yakking. Now, Todd Gitlin's book, "Intellectuals and the Flag" is a great book that gets right to the heart of what's wrong with liberals in this country. It's an insider's expose.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Arboreal Mermaid, Darryl Hannah, killed by Fish and Wildlife officer!

Ex movie star and ex Kennedy groupie, Darryl Hannah, was mistaken for a mountain lion and shot out of a nut tree, Tuesday, by a Fish and Wildlife sniper. It is unclear if Ms Hannah was dead on impact or if she was later stomped to death by Fish and Wildlife employees. Ms Hannah had been lurking in the branches of the tree to protest Global Warming and the destruction of ocean habitat, by both President Bushes, Jr. and Sr. "I once played a mermaid in a movie, Ms Hannah said, in an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine in 1994, so I know all about Marine Biology."

"We are sure that our officers acted lawfully," said a spokesman for the Department of Fish and Wildlife, formerly known as the Department of Fish and "Game." "After all, when you bleach gray hair as many times as Ms Hannah did hers, it begins to resemble the coat of a scruffy, mangy, underfed, very sick, possibly even rabid mountain lion. We had to consider the safety of our officers. These guys are Union employees. If one of them is even slightly injured, he could go out on Workman's Comp for months, if not years! Then the rest of us would have to take up his slack. I mean, no way! We are positive that the officer would never have shot her if he had been able to recognize her. She was still kind of hot, for a woman her age. Anyway, we in the Department of Fish and Wildlife think that Ms Hannah had already used up her 9 lives, by being the last surviving ex-girlfriend of a Kennedy for so long. I mean, she should have been killed long ago, its like that movie, Final Destination. Once an organism has fufilled its biological destiny it's time for it to move aside and make room for fresh young organisms. Nature works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, it works through agents of the Fish and Wildlife Department."

One horrified witness, who was afraid to give her name, sniffed, "They didn't have to kill her. They could have just trapped her and relocated her to a vineyard in France, or something."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Left, Bush, and Middle East oil.

The left has been way, way off in its judgment of Bush's reasons for going to war in Iraq. The left has been saying that Bush did it to "get" more oil, preferably by stealing it from the Iraqis. But it looks as if Bush went to Iraq to "limit" the supply of oil. In a way, oil is like diamonds, made more valuable the rarer they get. It really is not that rare so, like DeBeers, you have to limit the supply and pretend that it's rare. After he took us to Iraq and paid the insurgents to blow up the pipelines. I think Bush must have got the leaders of Iran and Venezuela elected, because he knew that they were not friendly towards the US and that we would not get as much oil from them. Then, he no doubt, fomented rebellion in Nigeria, where the delicious sounding, light, sweet crude comes from. All this did was make us more dependent on Bush's buddies, the Saudis. As oil became less available, the prices went up and up. Oh, I forgot the hurricane. Bush loves his oil buddies sooo much he did all this for them. So you see, the left was completely wrong in their assertions that Bush went to Iraq for the oil.

Arrggggh... the effing liberal news is chapping my hide!!!!

I turn on the news when I get home from work this evening. I am treated to a continual stream of liberal idiocy from the moment the televison comes on. First, there is a story about a mountain lion coming into a backyard and curling up under a woman's air conditioner. Fish and Game decides to shoot and kill the mountain lion, instead of dart it. It's in a populated area and it looks to be sick, possibly rabid, who knows??? They killed it. So the retarded reporter on the scene, walks around saying, "Did you know that they killed it?" to all these liberal know nothings in the neighborhood. They are sooooo depressed. "Oh, no, I wish that they had darted it and moved it," they all whine. For once and for all, you hippie scum. The reason that most of these mountain lions are coming into the city is that they are being driven out of the territory of other lions. Moving a cat into the woods in another area will result in the death of the lion anyway. You can't just put a lion into another lion's territory. Male lions regularly kill lion cubs. What if you put a male lion into an area where there is a female with cubs? Think about that, why don't you.

My ex just shot a lion on his property near Yosemite. He said he heard one of his goats cry out and went outside to see what had it. he was thinking coyotes. Instead he saw a 120 lb male lion with a kid in its mouth. My ex did not have his gun loaded with large enough shot for a lion but he shot it 4 times and it ran into the brush. It was dark so he did not want to chase the lion into the woods. He called fish and game the next day and they sent out a trapper that is very old and ready to retire. The trapper says that there is really no other person with his skills that can replace him when he retires. He said that there are so many cats in California that they are predating each other and being driven into areas frequented by humans and even crossing interstate lines. One lion has a large territory, so they run up against each other all the time. Anyway, the trapper looked around and found the lion my ex had shot by its smell. It had fallen not far from where they had stopped looking for it a day before. My ex has 2 sons, 2 and 3 and said that he wouldn't mind the lion hanging around if it weren't for the kids. He sees bears on his property from time to time and says that he leaves them alone if they leave him alone. My ex is worse than a mother bear about his sons and I would not care to be the bear that messed with his kids.

After the mountain lion story, they had a story about Darryl Hannah, (who I loved in Kill Bill 1&2) and some other goofy ass celebrities, sitting up in a walnut tree, to protest God knows what, I was too busy yelling at the tube to hear it. Then there was a very poorly done story on a man that is selling his land to developers. Joan Baez does not want him to sell it to a "big box" developer. She sat around on this guy's land, singing her usual, very bad songs that are totally indistinguishable from one another to the poor latino farmers. The farmers would have all rather listened to Daddy Yankee, I am sure. Then they let her go on for minutes and minutes about how latinos are farming the land and yes, the guy has a right to sell it, but he shouldn't, yadayada. Joan Baez, singer and expert on what other people should do with their own property. I can tell you, it's a wonder I don't have high blood pressure!!

Lastly, they had a very important story about a manhunt for a guy that shot a judge here in california. Of course they did not talk about it 1/10th as long as they did the Joan Baez crap!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Shark's fin soup!

Sharks are Miss C's favorite animal, she knows, she knows, they're fish! Miss C loves sharks very much. When Miss C was a tiny girl she had a little obsession with a Time Life book, The Fishes. Miss C's dad owned the book and there was a picture of a shark feeding frenzy. Little Miss C would ask to see the pic a few times a day. Miss C would then ask to see the picture of the "birunyun." The pic of the birunyun was actually a pic of a piranha, Miss C's second most favorite fish, for obvious reasons. Anyway, a new nature series came on PBS, a few months back and they did a piece about sharks being "slaughtered" for sharks fin soup. They showed cruel Asian fishermen catching sharks and cutting off the shark's fins and throwing the sharks back into the water while the sharks are still alive. On a visceral level, Miss C did feel bad for the sharks. It's only human to do so, and of course, Miss C loves sharks. Makos are her favorite, then tiger sharks, then great whites, white tip reef sharks and black tip reef sharks, then blue sharks. She does love them, yes indeedy. But then Miss C began to think about how silly it is to worry about the feelings of sharks. After all sharks don't worry about the feelings of the cute little sea lions or the sweet little seabirds or the handsome abalone divers. Sharks do not mind tearing off body parts and leaving their victims to pump out all their blood into the water. No sirree. I think that people can take comfort in knowing that most sharks must swim continuously in order to pump oxygen over their gills. Once their fins have been sliced off they will sink to the bottom and drown fairly quickly.

They gave John Murtha a long enough rope, and he hung himself!

I almost think that Karl Rove must have instigated the Haditha leak. The Democrats took the information, which really made their day, and ran with it. The Democrats are always ready to believe the worst about our men in uniform. In fact, it gives them much pleasure to believe that Americans massacre civilians in cold blood. John Murtha could not wait to pontificate, in his usual bloated fashion, about the horrific stress that our soldiers are under. Yes, John, war is stressful, tell us something we didn't know. These wargames are real and not simulated. Iraq and Afghanistan are no day at Disneyland.

The Democrats showed their true colors. They despise our military and think them capable of the most barbaric behavior. They throw out the, innocent until proven guilty rule, when it comes to our fighting forces. Instead of being grateful to our fighting men, the Democratic party jumps at any chance to demonize them. I predict a huge fallout when the soldiers accused of the so-called Haditha massacre are exonerated. The American public will see just how little the Democrats, and those of Murtha's ilk, think of US military personel. Not only do they not support our men and women in uniform, they don't even trust them not to deliberately murder innocent children.

Guantanamo suicides are an act of war.

The three Muslims that commited suicide at Guantanamo were, in fact, carrying out a form of Jihad against the US. They knew the tool that is the Demoratic party, would attack the Bush administration for the suicides, further chipping away at the support for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The suicide Jihadists were committing an act of terror, much as someone that uses a suicide bomb. The Jihadists are very savvy and their lawyers are feeding them infomation. Of course the lawyers are implicit in the undermining of the US. The reactions of the Democrats in regards to the suicides is pathetically predictable. They will call for investigation after investigation into the suicides. The media will spread misinformation and hype. The misinformation will become real to the Democrats, as they are always wont to ignore actual facts. If the evidence found by investigators looks to be exculpatory of American guilt, the Democrats will cast doubt on those investigations and call for more investigations. All the while undermining the American military, the American people, and all good people of Afghanistan and Iraq, who can expect more pain and horrific death if the prisoners of Guantanamo are released back into society. When will the rights of moderate Muslims to live in peace, become as important to the Democrats. as the rights of Islamic terrorists?

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Devil Dawg doesn't know what hit him!!!

My neighbor had a barbecue yesterday. We ate pretty much everything, but I guess he had 2 burgers left over. He snuck them to my front door and left them on my porch. When I took Devil Dawg out to pee this morning, he got a snootful of odor d'burger. He was spinning around and sniffing fit to expire. Then he stood up like a bear and saw the burgers on my plant stand. He lunged for them and drug each one of them dried ass, overnight burgers off the paper plate and gulped them down in one bite. It was funny to see him trying to get them the rest of the way down his gullet. Now he is restless as hell, because he thinks the miracle will happen again, if he can just get me out the door, one more time. Reminds me of the time my ex-boyfriend told me that he went fishing and found a $50 bill in the grass. Then he looked around and found another one. He said it ruined his fishing trip, because he then had to look for more money all day!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Beelzadawg thinks that I ordered a pizza!

I just ordered something from a catalogue, in order to do this I had to give my credit card number over the phone. My dog knows when I order a pizza. He gets very excited and spins around, while I am ordering it. Then he whines til the pizza comes. He heard me give the credit card number and he thinks it was for a pizza. Now he is whining and driving me nuts. I keep telling him it's not what he thinks, but he doesn't believe me! He's in for a long wait.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Allah shows yet again that he is not on the side of radical Islam!

Tsunamis, earthquakes, American F-16's, God works in mysterious ways.

We made up Zarqawi!!

I predict a US pull out from Iraq. I think that we made up Zarqawi. I began to suspect this when we came up with the bloopers and out takes so soon after his last pathetic video was released. He's been our good scapegoat, these past 3 years, but the actor that played him was getting too fat and he wasn't believable in the role any more. They should have put a no weight gain clause in his contract. I saw an interview with an Iraqi guy living next to the building where they blew up "Zarqawi" He said that they had come and "laid" explosives, around the building. He claims that they did not "drop" a bomb from a plane at all. Hmmmmm..... My Palestinian-American friend has always laughed at the idea of Zarqawi and Al Qaeda. He says that, Al Qaeda is like the "Chaos," organization in the television show, "Get Smart." I saw an interview with one of the Arab pundits and he said that everyone in the Arab world has always believed that America is so powerful that it knows exactly where Bin Laden and Zarqawi are at all times and that we keep them alive because it suits us. Perhaps it didn't suit us to keep Zarqawi alive anymore.

Why I respect religious people.

I do not believe in God. I wish that I could, but I don't. I used to think badly of people that did. When I was younger, I was disparaging of the intelligence of people that believed in God. As I got older and met more people and gained more life experience, I began to realize that those that had faith were merely different than I was. It may be because of brain chemistry or upbringing, I am not sure. I suspect that there is something wrong with atheist or agnostic brains that prevents us from fully fitting in with society. In any case I have a story about a person I know who is very religious. Here goes.

I have a particular brand of looks that appeal to Asians. When I go to the sandwich shop across the street from work, the Cambodian women that run the shop wax rhapsodic about my looks. They tell me how young I look and tell me that I get more beautiful everyday. They do not do this because I am such a good customer. There are usually other women I would consider better looking than I am in the shop, but they do not get the treatment. When I first began to work at the library, my Philipino co-workers called me "Miss America" or "Beautiful." They were always trying to fix me up with their nephews and friends because they thought I would make beautiful kids. In a curious way they seem to directly correlate my looks with goodness and they like me because of my looks. They think I am both beautiful and good, neither of which is true, but I have been lucky enough to have many good friends who are Asian. If this is due to my appearance, I can only be grateful for it.

I used to catch the bus to work in the morning from a certain bus stop. When I first moved to the neighborhood I was living in, I saw, on most days, a Philipina in her late 60's. We would talk while waiting for the bus and we would continue our conversations on the bus. Her name was Rose. I learned that Rose was a cafeteria worker at a high school. She said that she was still working in her late 60's because she had a daughter that was divorced and she gave all the money she earned from her job to her daughter to help her grandchildren. She would tell me that many of the teens that came to the cafeteria did not have money for lunch but that she would give lunch to them for what money they had, or for free. Rose was the epitome of the word, sweet. Rose thought that I was beautiful. She took a particular liking to me. Rose was very Catholic. She had an Our Lady of Fatima rosary book. Rose knew the rosaries by heart, but she loved this rosary book, quite literally to pieces. It was her most precious possession.

One day, on Rose's day off, she came to the libary to see me. She asked me to fix her rosary book. She knew that I worked in the book-mending section. She brought me plump juicy grapes when she came. I actually made a new book and it was not easy, because the old pages were worn and hard to copy. I looked in all the art books at the library to find a pretty portrait of Our Lady of Fatima to put on the cover of her book. I tried to make it durable because I knew that she read the rosary every day, a few times a day and that she would take it to the Philipines with her every year. She was very happy with the book. She began to drop by regularly and bring me fruit or handmade kitchen towels or flowers. She invited me to her house for a party that she had for her dead husband, who she called "Papa." She had a party for him every year on his birthday. I went with my hippie co-worker, Miriam, who was always in trouble at work for her constant social gaffs. Rose's family was a credit to her motherhood. She had a son who was a doctor and he was married to a very cool Caucasian woman. Rose's son spent the whole party discussing movies with me and Miriam. Rose had beautiful, smart grandkids. I remember that her grandaughter had just gotten a thumb watch, which she said that she had been longing for, for forever. In any case Rose had a warm and loving family and a beautiful home. She had had a loving marriage for over 40 years. This woman was very, very religious. She found much comfort and beauty in her faith.

I felt like a fraud, that Rose would like me so much and consider me worthy of even being at this party, with her family. I had no such accomplishments as she had. I had no real beliefs. I was not close with my family and had not raised children to be successful as she had done. I could not sustain relationships with men for very long. I felt uncomfortable that she liked me so much. That's when I began to see that what I had believed about the faithful was crap. It is me that is weird, not they. I am not as smart as I think I am. I am not in any way superior to those that believe in God. When I hear or read people disparaging the faithful, I know that most of them are just like I used to be, falsely superior. Totally wrong in their assumptions about the religious. I also think that there is a strong element of racism in those that hate Christians. Most of the whites that despise Christians make exceptions for religious people of color, but hate white Christians. It's as if they think that whites should be smarter and more advanced than everyone else. In reality the world could use a lot more women like my friend Rose. Rose finally retired and moved in with her daughter.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Low-income does not have to mean ignorant.

My co-worker and I were talking about our mothers today. I said that both our mothers grew up in low income households and married right out of high school. I know my friend's mother and I know her to be an intelligent well read woman. I said that the reason our parents were so well rounded is that they went to school in the 1950's. I read my mom's yearbook from time to time. She graduated in !961. She was extremely popular in high school, and many of her classmates signed her yearbook and wrote, sometimes extensively, in it as well. The school was about 50% African-American, because a lot of Blacks had come to the SF Bay Area to work in the shipyards, during WWII. Without exception, my mom's classmates, Blacks,whites and athletes, were all highly literate. Income was not important. What was important was a student body that was disciplined and civil and had respect for authority. It was very important that teachers had high expectations for their students' academic success. They just assumed that kids were in school to learn. I was reading a great photography book about an Hispanic enclave in California and there was a picture from the 50's of a old White lady, with her Hispanic students, and the caption, from an ex student of her's, said that, "These teachers were hard, but they taught us." When the do-good, over emotional, I don't want anyone to feel bad in my class, teachers took over, the die was cast for massive illiteracy and academic failure.

Demoncrats miss their chance at world domination on 6/6/6

The Demoncrats failed at their coup attempt, proving yet again that the American people may not be happy with Bush, but they recognize certifiable loonies when they run for office. The California Commie extraordinaire, Meathead, failed in his attempt to enlarge the ranks of Union membership, by robbing the rich and overpaying the incompetent. His ridiculous preschool measure was defeated, as people realized that hundreds of preschool classrooms costing tax payers $250,000.00, per classroom, per year was a monumentally stupid idea. What made him think that the preschool teachers would be any more successful at imparting valuable knowledge to young children than the teachers already failing to do so. Obviously Rob Rheiner didn't go to preschool. The Demoncrats were just trying to change the number of school years from 12, to the more Satan friendly, 13.

Scraffiti Dreams

On the bus this morning I noticed the scraffiti (graffiti etched into the glass) on the bus window. It said,



Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Voting in the SF Bay Area

My polling place is across the street from my house. I am the only Republican in my city, except for the Blogger, Mean Mr Mustard, who has a really, really beautiful girlfriend, go check her out from the link. I had to go up to the volunteers and tell them my address. There were 2 Black guys, one Black woman and 1 white woman "manning" the polling place. So the Black woman says, disgustedly, "She's a Republican." So, they scramble around trying to find my ballot, cause they hadn't had to use one yet, I'm sure. The guy who gives it to me is very nice. I vote and turn aroung to hand the guy my ballot and he freaks out and says, "Didn't I give you an envelope, I don't want to see who you voted for!" So I laugh and say, "You know who I voted for." Then I thank them all very nicely for being volunteers and helping everybody vote. Kill them with kindness, I say. It disarms them.

Monday, June 05, 2006

My friend's father

My friend grew up in Oklahoma. Her father came to America, from China, in the 40's. When he landed at the airport, he had to use a public restroom. He saw that that one side had a sign that said, "For Whites Only." The other side said, simply, "Coloreds." My friend's father, being Chinese, wasn't sure which side he was supposed to use, so he erred on the side of caution and used the side for the coloreds.

Kindergarten teachers can't even teach the ABC's?

They are trying to pass a bill here in California that would tax the rich and force them to pay for preschool for all 4 year olds. It might have been a long time since I was in Kindergarten, but I remember it being particularly fun and easy. I had my first boyfriend, A Black boy named Alfie. He would wait for me to get to the schoolyard and then he would hold my hand and we would walk into class together. One time I brought him home and my mom said that she called his mom to come get him and Alfie's mom was terrified that my mom would be upset. This was in the 1960's mind you. Anyway, we made cards and shit and colored and learned to tie shoes on these fake feet. I am at a loss as to how Kindergarten teachers want kids to know everything before they get to their classes. It's not like you need a prerequisite for the lowest grade, that's why it's the lowest grade. After this, they will want 3 year olds' preschool and 2 year olds' and then in the womb and stuff. It will never end! It's just another attempt by the Democrats to disribute wealth from the rich to the Democrat's pets, the poor. I don't say redistribution, because it's no such thing, the poor never had the money in the first place. If they are going to do that, why don't they just give us all some of the money they are stealing from the rich. Why should ungrateful preschoolers reap the rewards.

Behold, Beelzadawg!

Beware of Beelzadawg, Destroyer of Sofas, Bringer of remote controls! His evil minion, One Eyed Buster, sits atop Beelzadawg, awaiting his unholy instructions. That blue jar in the background contains my mom's ashes. I have long suspected that Beelzadog makes use of the ashes in his Satanic rituals, but to this day I have been unable to prove it They are clever, these beasts.

Adam and Eve

After God made Adam and Eve, God and Adam were having a little chat. "God, said Adam, why did you make Eve?" God said, "I made Eve so that you wouldn't be lonely, Adam" Adam said, "Why did you make her so pretty?" God said, "I made her pretty, so that you would like her, Adam." Adam said, "That was nice, but why did you have to make her so dumb?" God said, "I made her dumb, so that she would like you, Adam."

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Proposition, the movie. Contains spoilers!!

I saw The Proposition last night. I loved every minute of it. I love movies that are intense and brutal. It's an Australian Spaghetti Western. It stars, Ray Winstone and John Hurt, both of whom are, as always, fabulous. I can't talk about the character John Hurt plays without spoiling the plot, but he is great. This movie is not for everyone, one couple left the movie theater when the movie began to get very violent. The plot revolves around a man, (Guy Pearce) sent to find his brother, who is the head of a vicious Irish outlaw band wanted for brutally raping and murdering a pregnant woman. Ray Winstone is a police captain whose wife was a friend of the victim and he has vowed to institute civilized behavior and rule of law to the outback at any cost. He captures 2 of the murderer's brothers and uses the younger one of the 2, as leverage to force the elder one to capture the head of the gang, who has disappeared into the wilderness, where only the Aboriginal Australians live.

I am enamoured of Australian history, which is similar to the history of my favorite state, California. The movie deals with the British colonizers trying to institute their form of civilization to the outback. The amazing thing is to my mind, that they actually were successful, in the long run. I would have loved to have been there during the colonial period, as harsh and brutal as it was. I have always felt that I was born in the wrong century.

There is so much going on in this movie. The fact that white women were so completely protected, that a husband could not tell his wife that a friend of hers had been sexually violated. That the animosity between the British and the Irish continued into new lands. That the Aboriginals were the victims of everyone. Ray Winstone's police Captain is willing to shoot up a hut and kill Asian prostitutes in order to capture a band of outlaws that raped and killed a white woman. John Hurt's character keeps saying, "we are white men, not animals," but the civilized white men are as brutish as anyone. The lives of non-whites and the Irish were considered worthless, by the British. The police Captain (Winstone) was miserable in the outback and his wife (Emily Watson) tried to recreate a little oasis of Britian in the middle of the desert for him. It was touching, and yet you felt the ridiculous futility of her attempts to pretend a delicate code of behavior could be maintained in the wilderness. As I watched the desert vistas, I kept thinking about a scene in the movie Gallipoli, when Mark Lee and Mel Gibson are hiking through the out back and they come upon an old stockman and they tell him that they are going off to fight the Germans in WWI and the stockman asks them why, and they tell him that if they don't fight the Germans over "there," that the Germans might come over "here". The stockman looks around at the Australian desert and says, "They are welcome to it!"

There are 2 other movies in this same vein that I also love, We of the Never Never, and Utu. We of the Never, Never is based on the life of a woman that came to the outback to marry a sheep station owner. She came up against sheepmen who so despised women that they didn't want to be touched by one, even when dying. They felt that women were an unwanted, civilizing force (true) who were going to spoil their good time. Utu is a film from New Zealand about a Maori that fights for the British until he comes upon a massacre of his people and turns against the British and leads a band of Maori on a quest for revenge. Great movie!

I saw a documentary about British female convicts, (most of whom had committed minor crimes, such as stealing clothes) sent to Australia on a prison ship. They operated a floating brothel most of the way from Britain to Australia and when they got there many of the women became successful legitimate business owners, whose families still run the businesses to this day.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Canadian terror plotted by whom???

They refuse to say whether the terror plotters are Muslims. I notice that the emphasis is on the fact that the terrorists are Canadian citizens, what ever that means.

There's a good old boy anchorman on my local morning news. I love him because he's so politically incorrect. They will never state the race of rapists on the news. So, as a woman you don't know who to look out for when there's some sadistic sexual predator on the loose. This anchorman will always ask the on scene reporter, very innocently, "Did they say what race this guy is??" Of course, he's assuming that the rapist is a guy. How sexist!

Decapitation, no breathing.

I used to have a co-worker whose boyfriend was in a particularly violent Black motorcycle gang. I had another co-worker whose father was in the gang also. One of the members of the motorcycle gang was murdered. We heard rumors about what had happened to him. It was being said that hit men for the Mexican Mafia had decapitated this guy and cut off his hands and his penis. Figuring that my co-worker would have the scoop, I asked her if this rumor was true. Very indignantly she said, "I am so mad that they keep saying that!" "They cut off his head and his hands, but they did not cut off his penis!"

Stupid people will always be with us!

I was talking to the neighbor who lives across from me. He's a firefighter. I was telling him that I had taken the Police Dispatcher civil service exam, a few years ago and had done well on the exam, but that I didn't feel that it was a good job for me. I told him that I abhor stupidity and stupid people too much to put up with their nonsense. I said that I would get angry with people that called 911 for non emergency situations. My neighbor said, "Ah, yes, stupid people, I love em, they're my job security!"

Friday, June 02, 2006

Miss C, Leilouta and the foot fetishist!

The always delightful Miss Leilouta has a post and a link that reminds me of a favorite library patron. When I first began to work at the Library, I became familiar with the many strange library regulars. One of the daily visitors is a high functioning, slightly mentally retarded young man, named, Calvin. Calvin is a very tall and handsome African-American, in his late teens. Calvin looks a lot like O J Simpson. Calvin always wears spotlessly clean jeans and a scrupulously ironed, Levi jacket. Calvin's mother takes very good care of him. Calvin visits the library every day. He is a very good bowler and likes to show us his bowling scores. He goes to the second floor to look at fashion magazines. The reason that he looks at fashion magazines is that he is specifically looking for pictures of girls' feet. Calvin has a serious foot fetish. When I first got the job at the library, there were 3 beautiful African-American girls working at the library card and video desks. Calvin would stop and visit with them and then he would come over to the check out desk and visit with me. One time I was walking down the street and he yelled at me from across the street and pointed to my shoes, which were light brown. I said, "Calvin, I know why you like these shoes, it's because it looks like I'm not wearing any!" and he nodded and jumped around a little, in excitement.
One day Calvin came to chat with me and he was clutching in his hand a copy he had made from a dictionary, of the description of the word, "footsies, to tickle with the feet." He showed me the description and asked, "If you was my girlfriend, would you play footsies with me?" I said, "Calvin where did you get that idea?" Calvin said, "I saw it on Three's Company." "A girl played footsies with Jack, underneath the table." "Jack got a funny look on his face, but I wouldn't get a funny look, I would enjoy it very much!" Another time he came up to me at the check out desk and asked me if I ever wore sandals. I told him I did, but only in summer. Then he asked me if he could see my feet. I told him no, as my feet were ugly! As summer rolled around I was checking out books and I got a strange feeling. I looked up to see Calvin hanging over the mezzanine, above me, staring down at my sandaled feet. He gave me a sheepish grin and came bopping down the stairs. He walked up to me and said, "You feet ain't ugly!" and ran out the front exit. On one occasion he told me that he had gone home with a "bad lady." He said that she had promised to play footsies with him, but when she got him to her house she wanted him to take off his pants. He refused, disappointed at not getting the footsies he had been promised. He repeated that she was a "bad lady!" He got a job cleaning up hotel grounds with a group of mentally retarded people. He expressed to me his desire to meet a girl who would play footsies with him. He told me that he hoped to meet a "light skinned (black) girl, with big eyes!" I told him that he should maybe not be so picky, and he said, he knew this, but he still hoped that she would be, "light skinned, with big eyes!" The last time I saw him he was in the magazine section and I said "Hey, Calvin" and he said, "What kind of shoes you got on?" I said, "These are boots, Calvin." He grinned devilishly, and said, "Boots," hee, hee.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Miss C was so busted!

Miss C has a tin sign next to her front door. It is a reproduction of an old sign from Woodstock. The sign says, "Hippies use side door" It is the cause of much mirth, but not always. Sometimes the sign confuses the less than intelligent, who are wont to ask, "This is the right door isn't it?" Other times, the sign gets Miss C into trouble! Miss C's neighbor has hippy friends that live in the woods of Northern California. They live in a teepee, without electricity or running water. Sometimes Miss C's neighbor goes away on camping trips. The friends that live in the woods will come to stay in Miss C's neighbor's cottage and take baths! They also feed the neighbor's cats. One day the neighbor's friends were staying in her cottage and Miss C was leaving her cottage at the same time the friends were walking out the neighbor's front door. Miss C said "Hello." The male half of the hippy couple said, " Hello" also. As Miss C went down her stairs, the hippy looked past her shoulder, at her sign, and said, "So, you hate hippies, do you?" Miss C sputtered and stuttered and said, "No, no, it's just a joke, heh, heh." Miss C laughed nervously at being busted at her own game. Then the hippy guy said, "You probably haven't had enough hugs from hippies, is all!" and he walked over to Miss C and grabbed her in a bear hug! Thank God it was after the bath!